Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se barish start ho gayi.
Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.

Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre Biwi ke.
TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.

Q: What is difference between watch & wife:?
A: Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai.

Santa: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

Doctor: U n ur wife have same blood group.
Husband: Yeh to hona hi tha 20 saal se me ra khoon jo pi rahi hai.

Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!