Corby Kingfisher 8 v Milton Reserves 1 (8 October 2005),  Area Cup Game

Another day at Woods End, another drubbing for the away team as Adie Kelly’s moustache fuelled quest for the treble rolls on unabated. Milton Reserves were the latest team to be put to the sword amid yet another fine display of Dream Team football by Kingfisher Athletic. If this was a boxing match, the towel would’ve been thrown in long before half time. But sadly for the Milton lads, there was another grueling 45 minutes to go.  In the Bible, David slays Goliath in a crazy result that has the bookies baffled. But today, Goliath not only slew David, he kicked his ass with both hands tied behind his back and then danced on his grave naked for good measure. For the third week in a row, Adie was able to name an unchanged side, with the Roondog recovering from injury to keep his place in goals, meaning an unlikely return from retirement for executive board member Milney was put on ice for at least another week. The back three comprised of Scriv, Scotty Mac and Edmundo. Steve and Oagsie were the wing backs as Sir Bash, Doco and Scotty D strutted their stuff in the centre, with every defender’s nightmares Gibby and the twisted firestarter (allegedly) Jack in attack. This meant another week on the bench for Cam, Dannybhoy and Junior Bash, each one a potential matchwinner in their own right, and Adie faces a major challenge to keep them all happy. Despite us being all over them, Milton took the lead with a penalty, as Eddie momentarily forgot that waist high challenges aren’t allowed. But any hopes they may have had about an upset being on the cards were dashed as we took the lead within 10 minutes, both goals coming from Gibby corners. Opposing teams must dread it when we send big Scriv up – you can literally see their managers desperately flicking through the rulebook to try and get the ref to send him back into his own half. The big man causes chaos, and his flick on might’ve been going in, but Jack did what every good poacher does and finished it off. Another perfect Gibson delivery was nodded down again by Scriv and Scotty D rifled it into the top corner with his left foot. Back on top, and we extended our lead ten minutes before half time, good work from Scott found Docs inside the box, and he squirmed his way past the defender to pull the ball back for Gib, who still had it all to do. Gibby equalized his all time keepy up record of 3, bamboozling 2 defenders in the process before volleying a left footer into the top corner, and at half time, Milton could consider themselves fortunate that it was only 3-1. It seems remarkable that my first half report passes without a single mention of the linesman, but it really was one of those days. Tommy Kelly (he of the (in)famous Kelly brothers) did a sterling job, and the astonishment on the faces of the back three when they held the line and Tommy’s flag actually went up was there for all to see.

It was never going to stay 3-1 for long, and Gibby had put Jack through to stroke home number 4 before the punters had even taken their seats for the second half, effectively killing off any lingering hopes of a Milton comeback. Gibby was again involved with goal number 5, whipping in a superb cross for Scott Davanna to bullet home a heeder for his second of the game to cap a magnificent midfield performance. Our sixth was not long in coming, as we broke with Jack down the left, whose cutback took the keeper out and left Oagsie to strike the ball into an arm of a Milton defender, and Oagsie duly converted the resultant penalty. With half an hour to go, Adie brought on ex Leicester City Man Danny for a visibly annoyed Docs in the centre of midfield. Danny was out to impress today, buoyed by the fact that his missus was in the crowd and he has finally made an appointment to get those locks trimmed during the week, and he almost scored with a Henrik Larsson style clip over the keeper after being put through by the sensational Gibson. Unluckily, the ball was sent over the bar. Danny did turn provider for Jack’s hatrick and our seventh, picking Jack out with a cross from the right, who headed home. Jack’s celebrations were cut short with the news that Milney’s ‘5 Pints for a Hatrick’ deal expired last week, as the pub was in danger of going out of business. With the clock running down, Adie replaced Sir Bash with Cam and Scotty McBlain with Junior Bash, and both lads got stuck in. There was still time for another goal, and when it came, it was more than worth waiting for. Oagsie put Daniel son through on the left, and when the keeper advanced, Danny chipped it over his head into the net from outside the box, like that Maradona goal for Lazio that we’ve all seen on Eurosport. 8-1 is a rout in anyone’s book, and Adie was purring in his praise of the lads. “The boys were magnificent today, magnificent. That was a joy to watch, to be honest. When we play one touch passing like that, we’re a match for anybody” he said in an exclusive post match interview with fisherathletic.sitesled.com/. A 100% record in all competitions for the Kingfisher so far – aye, it’s not a bad life. Bring on the Flamingo next week.

RATINGS

Rooney…..7

Not a lot to do, a virtual spectator. Done well when called upon

Scriv…..7

A few lapses in concentration but nothing to worry about. Commanding. Will be fizzing that Jack got the last touch for the goal

Scotty Mac ….7

You have to be good to keep young Bash out of the team. And he is

Eddie….7

Gave the penalty away, but made up for it with a good performance

Oagsie….8

Great range of passing. Seems to have so much time on the ball. Stuck home the penalty

Bash Sr…..8

Holds everything together

Scotty D….9

Won everything in the air and weighed in with 2 goals. No bad

Docs…7

Good skill and passing. Was angry at being substituted, and it’s that kinda passion we want from the wee man

Steve….7

Today, it was all about my boots. I’m gonna miss em

Jack….10

A hatrick and could’ve had a few others. Say no more. MOTM

Gibby….10

Scored one, made 5 and still not man of the match. Obviously still some lingering resentment over the pool table fiasco in the Fisher the other week

SUBS

Danny…7

Imagine how well he’s gonna play without his hair in his eyes

Cam….6

Will be disappointed he only got 10 minutes

Bash Jr….5

Will be raging he only got 5 minutes

League Table

Goal Scorers Chart